Hank: The Other Hanson

Anyone card these kids? | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Anyone card these kids?

Hank was once again the juvenile blonde-on-scene for our neighborhood’s sassy, annual PNA Winter Beer Taste. This year’s theme? Hops: The Other Weed.

To see more of the legal, good people who came, drank, and solved all the world’s problems, take a look at PNA’s Facebook page. Hank’s stuck some of his favorites below:

Beer Will Change the World ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Startled Coyote ©2014 HouseofHank.me

I’m thinking I took a wrong turn somewhere

Homer Wisdom | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Artsy ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Hmm  | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

hmm

You're cut off |©2014 HouseofHank.me

You sir, are cut off

Awesome ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Civics 101 ©2014 HouseofHank.me

I VOTED!

Orange is the Next Beer ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Orange is the Next Beer

Hank’s got wicked ESP

Good dog, Hank. Now sleep it off, ol’ buddy.

Hankie Deck Dog ©2014 HouseofHank.me


The farther you go, the less you know.
Lao-Tzu

Posted in Critters, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Bad Luck + Trouble

Here comes Wrangler he's one tough customer | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

______________________________

What the critics are saying about Lee Kidd’s explosive new thriller:

**** Four stars!****I was on the edge of my sofa for this one…would’ve given it five stars, but I know Cap gets super bus-sick, so that part seemed wonky. Anyhow, that short, famous guy who just made a Kidd movie better be worried…there’s a new short guy in town!
—Hank

Pretty unbelievable action here. Cap’s certainly ADD, though. 
—Dexter

______________________________

Chapter 1
A FISTFUL OF HOLLERS

·     ·     ·

With a  jolt and a loud whoosh of hydraulics, a bus came to a stop amidst the drone of diesel and a rickety glass door banged open along its side. Captain stepped from the stagnant, AC chill of the Greyhound into the flat heat of another Great Plains afternoon. Friday. Five o’ clock. A bad time to move unobserved through a small town. Or, maybe the easiest. Five o’clock on a Friday and nobody pays attention to anything. Except the road home.

This time, the road was filled with flashing blue and red lights.

“Hey there, boy!” Came a shout from clustered police vehicles at a roadblock on the adjacent highway. “Come on over here!”

The situation didn’t look good.

Not good at all.

·     ·     ·

Captain Henry “Hank” Stanley hadn’t gone by his whole name for a long time—a really long time, if you count in dog years. He simply traveled the U.S. as “Captain”, though few even knew him by that name. By any name. He was simply a wanderer.

A very dangerous wanderer.

If he was honest—and Captain was never anything but brutally honest—his current situation could be traced, with laser-like intensity, back to the moment he said adios to Mrs. Stern and her Academy of Disciplined Dogs. ADD.

He was simply “Captain” ADD, and for a very long time that bastion of exceptionally well-behaved mongrels was his home. His citadel. All the young pups looked up to him and his legend. And he was a legend. No one could recall a time before Captain’s monumental presence overshadowed even that of Mrs. Stern herself, Mrs. Stern included (she was very old now, so it’s possible her faculties had slipped just a bit). There was one fact that stayed very clear in all the young curs’ minds, as they struggled to adapt to the life of ADD: Captain was ADD.

No longer. He was free and Mrs. Stern was a distant memory. Adios.

But ADD’s lessons stick with you forever.

When in doubt, drink water.

If in doubt, don’t bark.

Don’t destroy the furniture.

And the rule he returned to most of all since leaving ADD:

You don’t throw my buddies out of helicopters and live to tell the tale.

·     ·     ·

Stop and rest stranger | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

______________________________

“I said, where you think you’re going, boy?” the Sheriff’s deputy yelled again.

Captain moved purposefully through the thick, still heat of the afternoon towards the side door of a tourist hotel that had seen better days. Much better days. A big bowl of water sat in the shade of the porch. He’d sighted it first thing.

“I said, hey there, son!”

Captain disliked turning back. He needed to press on, dead ahead. Maybe circle sometimes, but straight was always best in his world. He reckoned every dog’s life needed an organizing principle—ceaseless forward motion was Captain’s. He gave nothing to the red-necked, sweaty officer shouting at him and continued walking.

“Well golldarnit Ed, that`ol dog looks like he’s been around the block a few times, don’t he?” said the large man sporting a gold Sheriff’s badge as he lifted his hat’s brim as if to get some air to the bald pate underneath. “Looks like he’s seen some things.”

“Don’t it make you wonder what?” replied Ed, the Deputy Sheriff. He narrowed his watery blue eyes in Captain’s direction.

“Yes it does. Yes it does, actually.” Sheriff Sippeschmatzer, 58, longtime Sheriff of Pasty County, Oklahoma, pushed himself up from a slouch by his Crown Vic with a practiced flourish of his hip, a move that years ago seemed very John Wayne-ish and deadly serious to him but today looked more like the signature move of the local (and equally aged) exotic dancer called “Hurley”. Down near the state line. In her world-famous stripper pole routine, “Keilbasa, Ho!”

Sippeschmatzer was an old Pasty County name, a name as long and troublesome to say as this officer was wide and hard to figure. Which suited Sippeschmatzer fine. Heck, if you couldn’t pronounce “Sippeschmatzer” then you weren’t from around here. And if you weren’t from around here, well, just what in the great golldang were you doing in Pasty County? Many unfortunates had pondered that question in the Pasty County Jail. It wasn’t one they pondered twice. No one re-visited Pasty County. The folks who did live in Pasty County and could pronounce “Sippeschmatzer” mostly called him “Sheriff S.” But that was okay. Because they were from around there.

Captain drank slowly and deliberately from the bowl of water. Good people, in the old hotel. He could tell. Hard as last years’ fruitcake sometimes. But good people. He ignored the advancing steps across the gravel lot. Two men. About 425 pounds between them. Country pounds.

When you drink, drink, Sensei Stern used to say, when you sneeze, sneeze. When you scratch, scratch. Only this.

Cool, fresh water. Four seconds and the men would be 10 feet away.

“You homeless, son? Huh? Should I be calling in Animal Control?” Sheriff S. called over to Captain. He stopped in his tracks and frankly evaluated this thirsty newcomer.

Captain finished his drink and turned around slowly. Confidently. I’m not homeless. He projected to the big man in the big hat. I’m a hobo. Big difference.

“Oh, so we got ourselves a hobo.” The Sheriff shifted in his boots and looked over at his junior officer. “Been a long time since we got a hobo.”

Not your concern, officer. Just passing through.

“Nobody’s just passing through Pasty County, son,” the Sheriff replied to Captains steady gaze, realizing the instant he said it that this was a mistake, since everyone just passed through Pasty County. No one stopped if they could help it.

The Deputy Sheriff cast the Sheriff a look at once perplexed and then thoughtful, as both men realized that despite the Sheriff’s factual error, the dog in front of them had actually stopped. Which was suspicious. “Yes sir, Unc-, er, Sheriff”, the Deputy nodded to his superior. “Nobody just passes through. And if he’s not homeless, where’s his collar?”

Sheriff S. made a quick mental note regarding his Deputy’s observational abilities. Aunt Edna’s youngest just might go far… A slight breeze kicked up dust around the Sheriff’s shiny boots (his wife Ethel shined them this morning after she asked if she should pick up more corn pads or medicated powder from the drug store—he had some foot problems) and he looked hard at Captain. There was some dust in his eye now, so this wasn’t easy.

The lot got quiet. Dead quiet.

·     ·     ·

Bad Luck & Trouble | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

______________________________

Captain knew the type in front of him, knew the type in his bones. These fellas wouldn’t be satisfied until someone was in custody. Until someone had lost. It wasn’t going to be Captain. A Slippery slope, fellas. I wear a nice collar, pretty soon I’m wearing pants. Then I’d need a hat. Next thing I know, I’ve got a motorcycle and a bank account and I’m filling out all kinds of forms.

“Sippie!” A loud voice split the tension as a screen door slammed shut four and a half feet from Captain’s back left ear. “Leave that old dog alone, you old fool. You go on back to your business, if you know what’s good for you.” A small, bespectacled old woman stepped out from the shadow of the overhang and glared at the Sheriff as she dried her hands on a tattered apron. “And take that damned nephew of yours with you. I’m tired of you two and your Tupperware parties scaring away what little business we get around here.”

Captain kept his eyes on the Sheriff’s, saw the quick flash of guilt there as red rose from his neck to find his ears. He knew the old woman’s keen eyes noted the same thing. She was a good one. Maybe as tough as him. Maybe tougher.

“It’s a roadblock, Imogene. On the highway. Sheriff’s work. You know that. We’re on the lookout for that dang bandit.” Sheriff S. shifted his feet, looking for more dignified ground. “He made off with more seed potatoes yesterday, up near the Doppelziffer’s place. He’s still in the area.”

“I don’t care if he’s right here drinking my best well water,” Imogene sniffed, with a sideways look at her guest, “I want you gone.”

“Alright, Imogene, alright. You win,” the Sheriff nodded and turned slowly away, not taking his eyes off Captain while he motioned to his Deputy. “You always win. But don’t think we’re not going to catch our guy and I won’t be re-elected come fall.”

Captain studied their retreat. The Sheriff moved like he knew his fate in advance. Another day, Captain thought. You and I will work this out on another day. He then turned to assess the woman, her hands on both hips.

“Come on in, you,” said Imogene. “I’ve got chicken on the grill. And we’ve got big problem to take care of. You and me.”

·     ·     ·

Don’t miss “Appetite for Combustion”, the next heart-pumping installment in Lee Kidd’s full-throttle Captain series!


Posted in Books, Critters, Dangerous Babies, The Land of Was, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Dreamin’ Wild

Barefeet | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Hank supposes it’s inevitable.

Inevitable that as he ages and reflects, he’ll dream of returning to the Ponderosa pines and blue skies of his eastern Washington puphood.  And once he’s there, it’s likely he’ll take a good sniff around. Ah, the 1970s. Ah, feathered hair. Ah, wall-to-wall carpeting.

Hank's groove | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Ah, creative license.

Hank’s been digging through his life’s sedimentary geology—dusty layers of Dynamite magazines, grainy photos of grubby kids, and prized gems like The Sunshine Family and Dorothy Hamill dolls* interspersed with many, many mysterious craft items fashioned of bark, macaroni noodles, and orange acrylic yarn possibly intended to accompany such treasures into the afterlife.

And memories!

So many memories. Did you know that one summer Hank met Evel Knievel, saw Jimmy Carter on a raft, and then spied some UFOs?  Yeah, man. That kind of stuff happened all the time back then.

But that’s the funny thing about memory.

It’s true that Hank once saw Evel’s mom eating breakfast at a Butte diner. He even waited by the banks of the Salmon River for the infamous Mr. Carter (this was Idaho, after all) to float by, but it turns out he missed the President by a week. Or something. Hank & Co. did spock all sorts of UFOs one summer and kept the Air Force UFO hotline close by the phone but strangely, In Search Of… never called.

Kids will note “the” phone. Scarcity was a thing in the 70s. As was this. This was a thing. A couple of things, actually. And that orange yarn.

A couple other things from the 70s | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

And this. This was a thing. It’s any number of things, really, though it appears to be only one conjoined thing.

Dreamin' Wild cover

The point is, memories get jumbled together over time and come back sort of weird on retrospect. Like the be-collared vision above from 1979—a full two years post-ex-Elvis—memory plays tricks on us, just as fashion fooled country kids back in the day. Still, what sounds better than some homegrown tunes when you’re revisiting The Land of Was with Hank?

Nothin’ that’s what.

If you’ve not yet heard the rock n’ roll awesomeness of Donnie & Joe Emerson well, that’s cool, man. This is the time and Baby, this Bud’s for you:

Hank may never have met Evel Knievel, splashed Jimmy Carter, or got to hang with the Emersons, but he can still dream wild.

Dreamin' Wild | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

He hopes you will, too.

Keep your eyes open for UFOs.

Note* These items probably belonged to Hank’s Very Favorite Person. Now that he thinks about it.


Whit’s fur ye’ll no go past ye.
old Scots saying


Related links:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/13/garden/touring-the-farm-where-the-emerson-brothers-recorded-their-1979-album.html?smid=pl-share

http://www.theguardian.com/music/2014/jul/28/donnie-joe-emerson-dreamin-wild

http://www.npr.org/blogs/allsongs/2012/06/28/155924320/dad-builds-a-recording-studio-sons-make-a-lost-classic

http://articles.latimes.com/2012/jul/07/entertainment/la-et-ms-emerson-brothers-20120708

http://cageian.wordpress.com/2013/03/03/baby-baby-baby-the-donnie-joe-emerson-story/

Posted in Art, Critters, Film, Photography, The Land of Was, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Woo Woo, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Back at the Ranch

Original A. family cabin| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Such adventures!

Hank & Cap have been tootling eastwards lately, meandering through semi-ghostly small towns and sunny fields in secret valleys and piney hills…homeward bound towards family and memories.

Ponderosa | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Cap looks for Deere| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Hank ponders old towns | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Come along with the Boys as they wagon through this beautiful country:

Blaze | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

By | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Field & Sky| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

City Hall | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Fountain Pop | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Confluence | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Caterpillar | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Good sign | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

The crookedy tree tells us we’re almost at our destination!

The just a little further tree | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

This lovely valley nestled in the berried hills has always been an interesting place.

Why, hello | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Coexisting with guns & coffee| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Golden Jubilee 1939| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Through the windshield | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Did you know that Hank’s favorite travel strategy is to immediately eat something gross on arrival? Which he barfs up all night and into the next?

As well committing other terrible atrocities we will not speak of?

After Hank's Big Night | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Oooooh.

Ready for bed! | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Yes. Which means that Cap gets the pillows all to himself. Being a little slow to the party is his favorite strategy.

Three Bairns | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Speaking of parties, the boys love meeting new friends in old haunts…

Bob | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Oh, hey there Bob.

Lovely girl | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

How’s it going, beautiful?

Happy | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

…and Cap enjoys the green, green acres. Anyone seen my buffalo chaps?

TA in chaps | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

The boys think this is one heck of a spot and can’t wait to get back.

back to the ranch| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Sunset | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Pioneer Ground Solstice | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Such good people, such good memories. Stay tuned for more H & Co. adventures east of the mountains!


The true nature of mountains is that they are mountains. They practice both stillness holding their place and moving with change. Men and women can be reborn through mountains. Ancestors abide in mountains. And mountains disappear the closer you are to them…Realizing fully the true nature of place is to talk its language and hold its silence.
Joan Halifax

Posted in Critters, Photography, The Land of Was, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Bitchin’ Camaro

Hank Looks Out Over His Midlife Crisis | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Hank’s been having a wee midlife crisis. 

He’s having a tougher time getting around lately: his get-up-and-go has been running a bit rusty and boy, do his dogs get tired. How did this happen? And when? What’s a fellow to do when the years catch up all at once and insist on giving him wedgies?

There’s always the old standby for men of a certain age: 

I will haunt your dreams

what?

The sports car. The shiny, new red sports car.

Maybe a little red Corvette?

Things seemed to be zooming in that direction until Hank’s Very Favorite Person (always the voice of reason) gave him four words to chew on: cliché,  insurance, speeding tickets.

Back to the drawing board.

Now, it’s no secret that Hank’s always hankered for a convertible. Wind through the ears, freedom of the road, the need for speed…you know da kine, McQueen.

Rollie Free on Vincent - Bonneville Salt Flats (1948)

wheeeeeeee!

Or….a motorcycle.

Hank’s yearly birthday wish. Hank’s taste runs towards the classics so an old Triumph Bonneville TR6 would be right up his alley. Maybe that 1952 Vincent Black Lightning? Come to think of it, an old Indian might be cool…

Indian | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

…or maybe that Norton Commando

Norton Commando | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Heck, Hank wouldn’t mind a Ural with a sidecar.

Hankie's Ural | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Hello, handsome.

Oh, life as a sidecar dog.

photo-main

Hank has a scooter-sized budget though, so these options weren’t looking good. In fact, it was all looking grim.

Hmm. | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Grim.

Hank’s considered bringing draft horses back to Ballard. Heck yeah! But as he looked at his piggybank and then again at his back forty he sadly came to the conclusion that he’s a bit old and his backyard’s a bit small for Budweiser and Clydesdales.

Plus, laws.

What-oh-what could get Hank back in the saddle without actually getting his old bones back in a saddle?

Hank's sweet ride | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Yes.

To be fair, this little number is a bit more Buick than Bitchin’ Camaro and it doesn’t go zero-to-sixty in any number of seconds but it suits Hank’s piggybank. And it came with a driver.

First stop: Mr. McGregor’s tomato patch. How Hank has missed these delicious, lovingly raised, sun-kissed heirlooms.

First stop, Mr. McGregor's tomatoes | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Next stop (and make it snappy before Mr. McGregor returns): a cool drink with old friends.

Chucklehead | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Delightful. 

Now off to Ballard and Backfire Moto to ponder his next set of wheels…

The 2 Bit's Last Call | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

…as another dive bar bites the dust in Seattle.

Are you my mother? | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

You complete me.

Scotland Forever | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Two wheels or four, Hank’s pretty stoked that his new Buick looks a bit like The Saltire, and like him, it’s slow but steady-going. Maybe a little goofy at times. But old and wise.

Old and wise-ish.

Whatever it is, this is for sure: watch out world, Hank’s on the road again!

Bravace!


We look to Scotland for all our ideas of civilization.
Voltaire

Posted in Critters, Dangerous Babies, Film, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Hank’s Monster Weekend

BEERZILLA! | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Our hero

As usual, Hank’s weekend was full of beer tasting and BBQ-ing and socializing, but he managed to squeeze in a little photography, too.

That dog. It’s kind of amazing what he can do without thumbs or a decent camera. Anyhow, Hank’s photos for the PNA’s Summer Beer Taste are now up on PNA’s Facebook page and he’s a little tickled.

Take a looksee: Can you tell this is Hank’s handiwork?

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.748286868542898.1073741834.151362848235306&type=1

Join Hank next year for some great fun and a good cause!

Oh, pardon me I've lost my beer goggles | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Oh, pardon me, I think I’ve lost my beer goggles

_______________
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
― Abraham Lincoln

Posted in Critters, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

HANKZILLA!

HANKZILLA! | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

HANKZILLA! HANKZILLA WANT EVERYTHING!!

Wouldn’t you know it?

Our cantankerous Hank will be lumbering around and bellowing some at this weekend’s 9th Annual Summer Beer Taste—aka BEERZILLA—and he surely hopes to see you there. Cap’s the designated driver but don’t call him Shirley. (Though to be honest, he really doesn’t mind). Dozens of local microbreweries will be pouring and there will be snacks.

Snacks!

Cap Tries the Capzilla look but finds lavender too soothing | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Cap tries the “Capzilla?” look but finds the lavender too soothing

BEERZILLA is another clever ploy to support our Phinney Neighborhood Association and Hank’s all for it. So put on your beer goggles and join Hank this Saturday from 4-7 pm at the PNA.

GROWWWWRRRRrrr! You can find out more and get your tickets here:

http://phinneycenter.org/

2014 PNA Beer Taste

_____________________

There’s something to be said about a slightly plump person—you have just enough of too much.
―Jamaica Kincaid

Posted in Critters, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Greenwood Car Show in Photos & Song

BUTTS| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

At the end of the day it comes down to this

What Goes Around| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

what goes around

Comes Around | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

comes around

So many behinds| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

there are many behinds

So little time| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

and so little time

Soul food | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

what’s worth having

Serious BBQ | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

is worth waiting for

Waiting for BBQ| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

and good things

Orange you glad I'm here for seconds?| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

come to those who wait

Waiting for BBQ2 | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

usually

I'm not sure if you're understanding me here| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

most of the time

Lemonade Stand | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

so have a sip of sunshine

Cap's Sssssignature | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

and take a load off

Dog Tired | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

close your eyes now

Dog Tired Too | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

and rest your tired dogs

Dog Tired Two| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

oh those tired dogs

Schnitzel | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

because tomorrow

Don't get any funny ideas | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

yes, tomorrow

Mind if I sniff? | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

is smelling good already!

Posted in Critters, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Greenwood Car Show 2014

 Hey, Buddy | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Hey, Bud.

It’s almost here! Our neighborhood’s heralded Greenwood Car Show this Saturday from 8am — 4pm. Each year, as Hank cruises the mile-and-a-half hootenanny along Greenwood Avenue, he rejoices in the civic good this event supports across our community, and the great dog and people-watching to be had.

Shakka, Brah | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

He’s also reminded of the following truisms:

1)   Everyone has a little inner redneck, no matter your shape or size, gender or genders, nation, color, or creed. The automobile brings out the redneck as sure as Hank exposes flaws in your dinner plans;

2)  You can fry just about anything and sell it to a crowd;

Elephant Ears | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

3)  Folks who are serious about their cars are serious about their tiny dogs;

4)  No one can hold on to more than 70% of their BBQ/kettle korn/elephant ears/curly fries/ice cream and walk at the same time;

5)  Hank delights in all these things.

Happy Guy | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Hank. Delighting.

…Hope to see you up on the Ridge this Saturday! Hank & Cap are sure looking forward to meeting your BBQ.

Message for you | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

I’ve got a message for you about the redneck crack. And these dogs are not tiny.

__________________________

It is the month of June/The month of leaves and roses/When pleasant sights salute the eyes/And pleasant scents the noses.
Nathaniel Parker Willis

Posted in Art, Critters, Dangerous Babies, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Memphis Belles

Memphis Belles | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Herrrooooooo!

Each year around Memorial Day, the skies far above the House of Hank resonate with the deep hum of four engines and in short order a whole lot of history rumbles by. At which point the airspace immediately around the House fills with a lot of Whoopee!-ing and Oh-boy!-ing and other expressions of delight accompanied by jumping up and down and pointing. The B-17s are back!

Don't Mind Me | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

I’m ready to go! (Don’t mind me.)

This year, the bomber overhead was “The Movie” Memphis Belle, an historic aircraft owned by The Liberty Foundation and used in the filming the movie of the same name. You may recall Hank’s favorite B-17, the Liberty Belle, which not long after its last Seattle visit experienced an in-flight fire, made a “remarkably controlled landing” in a field outside of Chicago, and just burned and burned and burned. Hank spent a lot of time during his recent visit talking to the engineer who was on that fateful flight. He says she will rise again someday!

But! But! B-17. 

Hank & Cap hopped in the truck and headed south to the airfield. They had to see this year’s Flying Fortress. Check it out:

Hank could watch this Vimeo clip over and over and over again. In fact, he does. It’s kind of a thing.

Here’s their adventure:

Memphis Belle visitors Seattle 2014 | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

The best part of touring old airplanes…

Inspecting The Movie Memphis Belle Seattle 2014 | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

…the little old men for Hank’s Dog, Horse, & Little Old Man Ranch©!

The Movie Memphis Belle Seattle 2014 | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

They’re E V E R Y W H E R E !

The Movie Memphis Belle from front | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Pete Repete

Stuka | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

We’re going in!

All Star B-17 | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Inside!

Memphis Belle crew May 17, 1943 | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

The original crew

B-17 Pilot| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Probably not the original pilot

Movie Memphis Belle visitors | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Definitely not the original crew

Mom | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

(It was Mother’s Day, after all)

Propeller B-17 | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Waiting for the plane | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Waiting for the plane

In honor of the 70th anniversary of the D-Day landings at Normandy, June 6, 1944 and all those lost.

HJW, RSW, HGW Jr. (13 June 1944), DRK, & LOR - Blessings and thank you. Also “Piper Bill” Millin and Chester Nez. Aloha.

Piper Bill Millin Lord Lovat's personal piper D-Day June 6, 1944 (via BBC photo courtesy Imperial War Museum)

Chester Nez | Dean Hanson - AP

_________________________________

How lovely this world is, really: one simply has to look.
Joyce Carol Oates

Posted in Critters, Photography, Sciencey Stuff, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Saka Dawga

Saka Dawa 2014 | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Nice peonies, boys!

A very happy June to you from your peony-laden, rose-scented June bugs, Hank & Cap!  The Boys invite you to breathe deeply with them as they contemplate the auspicious month ahead in their garden:

peonies | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

lady's mantle | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Saka Dawa 2014 II  | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

wall fountain & akebia | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

a bit of chaos | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

©2014 HouseofHank.me

buttons | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

lilies & allium| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Cap enjoys the roses, too | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

I get a little lost out here, sometimes

strawberry blossom | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

life smells good | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Ahhh.

_____________________

Now is everything. Whatever you do in this very moment is everything: it’s the past, it’s the future, it’s now.
Chögyam Trungpa

Posted in Critters, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Hanksaga

Captain Stanley Bladder Bald | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Hank couldn’t resist the opportunity to Viking himself and Cap today, wishing he could make it to the British Museum’s epic exhibition.

Poor Cap isn’t terribly tech savvy, so he has to live with the results of Hank’s marauding tendencies:

Captain Stanley Bladder Bald | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

You can go Viking yourself too, here:  The British Museum.

Uff da!

______________________

We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise, we harden.
Goethe

Posted in Critters, Dangerous Babies, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Let Them Eat Cake

The Cake Rex Saga continues:

dogwood blossoms

Spring is just coming on so lovely this year, don’t you think?

Labradors looking for cake

(Cake?)

It's just so lovely and fresh out...| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

It’s just so fresh and bright…

Cake (?)

Cake (?)

Aren't the tulips just delightful this year?

Oh, my yes! Aren’t these tulips just delightful?

GAHHH!  Cake?!?

Cake?!?

Yes, I don't think the voles did as much damage this year...why, just look at this Azalea!

Yes, they certainly are…I don’t think the voles did as much damage this year. Have you seen these azaleas?

Oh, for the love of all that is holy...CAKE!!!

CAKE!!!

lovely curled tulip

Oh, yes…they’re lovely. I just can’t take my eyes off these tulips!

CAAAAAAAKE!!!!

CAAAAAAAKE!!!!

white tulips and one dandelion

Of course, the dandelions are getting an early jump on spring, too…

That's it...I've officially LOST MY MIND!!

GAAAAHHHHH!!  CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!

Sorry. We’re experiencing some technical difficulties at this time. Our iPhone has been mistaken for cake.

________________________

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
Gloria Steinem

Posted in Critters, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Cake Rex

Cake for the King | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Almost a Cake Wreck.

Hank has been a bit unhinged since his last birthday.

“Unhinged” cannot possibly be a good omen for his dotage. You see, Hank has become obsessed, and we’re talking more than the usual Hank obsessed, more than the run-of-the-mill Hank unhinging du jour….this is more like OBSESSION, and this is indeed All Caps.

RrrrOOOWWWR!

RrrrOOOWWWRRRrr!!

Hank’s even brought Cap into his affliction.

In the terrible presence of cake, Hank becomes what can only be described a maniac. Perhaps you’ve met this kind of maniac before. Perhaps you’ve met such a maniac in the person of The God of Cake:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/10/god-of-cake.html

“The God of Cake” © Allie Brosh (http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com)

Well, this is the kind of maniac we’re talking about: scratchy, clawing, wee arms; huge, gnashing teeth. Terrifying.

It all started innocuously enough. Hank loved his three-layer, peanut butter & yam, blueberry & pea-bejeweled crown cake so much. He’d been waiting, waiting, waiting all day long in the kitchen as the cake came into glorious being. He knew. This cake was his. All his. When the big moment finally arrived, the candles were lit, minions were singing, and it all got very nutters very quickly.

Where have you been all my life, Cake?

Where have you been all my life, Cake? Don’t mind my crazy eyes.

This may be when something actually snapped

[ This may be the point at which something in Hank snapped ]

[ Definitely by this point ]

[ certainly by this point ]

Or maybe it was here

[ yep]

Hank fell on that glowing, golden crown and ate that puppy in one gigantic, and frankly, disturbing ____?  We’re not even sure there’s a word in the English language for it. (It’s probably something you can only say in German.)

Cap jumps on the Crazy Train

Cap joins Hank on the Crazy Train

However you call it, that cake got gone.

Then Hank demanded another cake. Which he got. The next day. Because he turned 14 after all. Then he demanded another one. And another. Then Hank went beyond-the-beyond and declared that Every Day is Hank’s Birthday since every day is a brand-new milestone for a 14-year old Labrador, and every birthday must be celebrated with cake.

So it began and so it continues. Stay tuned for Cake Rex Part II: Let Him Eat Cake. Please don’t let this happen to someone you love.

_____________________________

Posted in Art, Books, Critters, Dangerous Babies, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Hank’s Happy 14!

photo of puppy stealing other puppy's food

The more things change…

Amazing as it may seem, our Hank is 14 years old today.

Yes, it’s his birthday, and he’s been doing a little celebrating. The sun is shining—miracle of miracles—so our equally sunny spring chicken started his birthday off right:  with bacon from Pete’s Egg Nest, and half a breakfast burrito. Here are the goods:

bacon and breakfast burrito for Hank

Whaaat??

Here’s Hank’s pre-bacon face:

photo of Hank looking for bacon

Whatcha’ got in that doggie bag, big spender?

Here’s his after-bacon face:

Hank the Labrador smiling photo

I’d smile wider, but I’ve got bacon in my teeth. All four of them.

Whew. So, what’s next on Hank’s birthday agenda? Taking a good stroll, collecting more biscuits, more belly rubs, a light lunch, more of the same, some good yelling, a few sniffs, and making plans for a big-time peanut butter & yam birthday cake on Saturday.

Also:

Hot Buy Pork Butt (!!! $uper $weet $Savings !!!)

Indeed.

Probably not, little piggy. But Happy Birthday anyway, you marvelous old fellow!

Happy Birthday card to Hank the Yellow Labrador

…the more they stay the same.

___________________

A little Madness in the Spring
Is wholesome even for the King
Emily Dickinson

Posted in Critters, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Cap, Uninterrupted

Yellow Labrador asleep with tongue sticking out

Just can’t get enough of these photos, apparently. Nope. Cap wishes you all a dreamy weekend!

_________________________
Give the children love, more love and still more love – and the common sense will come by itself.
Astrid Lindgren

Posted in Critters, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Things Hank Didn’t Score at the Thrift Store

Photo of very large, ugly ski pants found in thrift store

Somewhere, a German is missing his pants.

"Bad Dog" skis

As if.

signed Ronald Reagan photo

The 80s called and they want their President back.
No, hang on – they just want the Camaro.

"Gold Digger" t-shirt

To pair with your Bad Idea Jeans, presumably.

light blue and white guitar with white pleather shoes to match

This little duo was harder to pass up. But he did.

______________________________
Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Usually.
Voltaire (paraphrased)

Posted in Critters, Dangerous Babies, Photography, The Land of Was, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Special Delivery

Cap Loves the World | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

XXOO from Cap

 ♥    ♥    

full belly warm sun

fresh grass spring dreams chase run roll

i’m hungry again

 ♥    ♥    ♥

XXOO from Hank

 

Happy Valentine’s Day from Hanku & Captain Valentine!

__________________________
Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.
Henry David Thoreau

Posted in Art, Critters, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

House of Doom(ba)

And What, Exactly, Might This Mean?| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

This cannot be good.

In what seems like a foolhardy move to Hank, and one of no particular significance to Cap, certain Persons with Thumbs just brought home a Roomba. Which is to say, a robot. That cleans. Brought it home. To stay. Yes. A very zoomy, very clever little robot has been given free reign over the House of Hank. Which is a pretty sick thing to do, really, and Hank would just like to know what was so wrong with regular terrifying vacuum 1.0? 

Cap just wonders. Generally.

Ruh Roh | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

By the pricking of my thumbs…Zoom!

Good Lord. | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Something Wicked this Way Comes.  Zoom!

IMG_5551

Oh, I like the Scottish Play—please keep reading. Zoom!

IMG_5564

Get thee behind me, Satan.  Zooooom!

IMG_5601

Will it never stop?  ZOOM!

IMG_5608

I’m sure robots are very nice. I’d like to meet one someday.  ZZoom!

IMG_5641

If I just close my eyes and count to ten, it will go away. Please go away.  Zoom! Zoom! Zoom!

Hank suspects this terrible Doomba harbors shivs, or citronella spray, or some other diabolical weaponry of world domination.  The Thumbs think he’s being melodramatic. Despite Hank’s qualms, this wee, zippy bugger does a great job of tidying up, even in Hank’s two-Labrador, many-carpeted castle of endless obstacles. The Thumbs have christened the little bot Dennis-There’s-Some-Lovely-Filth-Down-Here and hope he lives a good, long life of autonomous collecting here at Hank’s commune.

Hank will accept your condolences in the usual manner.

Just don’t leave them on the floor.

XXOO Hank | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

I can’t even talk about it right now.

____________________________
Whatever it is you’re seeking won’t come in the form you’re expecting.
—Haruki Murakami

Posted in Critters, Dangerous Babies, Photography, Sciencey Stuff, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Alley Cap

DOOR | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Our friend Cap went for a chilly February adventure this morning, poking around Seattle’s back alleys and sniffing the light while Hank stayed nestled under blankets, dreaming of sandwiches and the coming of spring.

Happy Friday, everyone and hope some sun shines down on you, too!

Retaining Wall | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Lichen Paint | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Sedum Clouds Granite | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Retaining Wall | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

________________________________
Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.
—Confucius

Posted in Critters, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments