Bitchin’ Camaro

Hank Looks Out Over His Midlife Crisis | ©2014

Hank’s been having a wee midlife crisis. 

He’s having a tougher time getting around lately: his get-up-and-go has been running a bit rusty and boy, do his dogs get tired. How did this happen? And when? What’s a fellow to do when the years catch up all at once and insist on giving him wedgies?

Well, there’s always the old standby for men of a certain age: 

I will haunt your dreams


The sports car. The shiny, new red sports car.

Little red Corvette?

Things seemed to be heading in that direction until Hank’s Very Favorite Person (always the voice of reason) gave him four words to chew on: cliché,  insurance, speeding tickets.

Back to the drawing board.

Now, it’s no secret that Hank’s always hankered for a convertible. Wind through the ears, freedom of the road, the need for speed…you know da kine, McQueen.

Rollie Free on Vincent - Bonneville Salt Flats (1948)


Or….a motorcycle. Hank’s yearly birthday wish. Hank’s taste run towards the classics, so an old Triumph Bonneville TR6 would be right up his alley. Or maybe that 1952 Vincent Black Lightning? An old Indian would be super cool, come to think of it…ooh:

Indian | ©2014

Or maybe that Norton Commando he fancies…

Norton Commando | ©2014

Heck, Hank would settle for a Ural with a sidecar.

Hankie's Ural | ©2014

Hello, handsome.

Oh, life as a sidecar dog. SaaaawEEEeet!

But Hank has a scooter-sized budget, so these options weren’t looking good. In fact, it was looking grim.

Hmm. | ©2014


For some time now, Hank’s considered bringing draft horses back to Ballard. Heck yeah! Hank thought about it some more, looked at his piggybank and then again at his back forty and sadly came to this conclusion:  he’s a bit old and his backyard’s a bit small for Budweiser and Clydesdales.

Plus, well, laws.

So what-oh-what could get Hank back in the saddle without actually getting his old bones back in a saddle?

Hank's sweet ride | ©2014


To be fair, this little number is a bit more Buick than Bitchin’ Camaro and it doesn’t go zero-to-sixty in any number of seconds, but it suits Hank’s piggybank. And it came with a driver.

First stop, sir: Mr. McGregor’s tomato patch. How Hank has missed these delicious, lovingly raised, sun-kissed heirlooms.

First stop, Mr. McGregor's tomatoes | ©2014

Next stop (and let’s make it snappy before Mr. McGregor comes home): a cool drink with old friends.

Chucklehead | ©2014


Now off to Ballard and Backfire Moto to ponder his next set of wheels…

The 2 Bit's Last Call | ©2014

…as another dive bar bites the dust in Seattle.

Are you my mother? | ©2014

You complete me.

Scotland Forever | ©2014

Two wheels or four, Hank’s pretty stoked that his new Buick looks a bit like The Saltire. And like him, it’s slow but steady-going. Maybe a little goofy at times. But old and wise.

Old and wise-ish.

Whatever it is, this is for sure: watch out world, Hank’s on the road again!


We look to Scotland for all our ideas of civilization.

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Hank’s Monster Weekend

BEERZILLA! | ©2014

Our hero

As usual, Hank’s weekend was full of beer tasting and BBQ-ing and socializing, but he managed to squeeze in a little photography, too.

That dog. It’s kind of amazing what he can do without thumbs or a decent camera. Anyhow, Hank’s photos for the PNA’s Summer Beer Taste are now up on PNA’s Facebook page and he’s a little tickled.

Take a look: Can you tell this is Hank’s handiwork?

Join Hank next year for some great fun and a good cause!

Oh, pardon me I've lost my beer goggles | ©2014

Oh, pardon me, I think I’ve lost my beer goggles

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
― Abraham Lincoln

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HANKZILLA! | ©2014


Wouldn’t you know it?

Our cantankerous Hank will be lumbering around and bellowing some at this weekend’s 9th Annual Summer Beer Taste—aka BEERZILLA—and he surely hopes to see you there. Cap’s the designated driver but don’t call him Shirley. (Though to be honest, he really doesn’t mind). Dozens of local microbreweries will be pouring and there will be snacks. Snacks!

Cap Tries the Capzilla look but finds lavender too soothing | ©2014

Cap tries the “Capzilla?” look but finds the lavender too soothing

BEERZILLA is another clever ploy to support our Phinney Neighborhood Association and Hank’s all for it. So put on your beer goggles and join Hank this Saturday from 4-7 pm at the PNA.

GROWWWWRRRRrrr! You can find out more and get your tickets here:

2014 PNA Beer Taste


There’s something to be said about a slightly plump person—you have just enough of too much.
―Jamaica Kincaid

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Greenwood Car Show in Photos & Song

BUTTS| ©2014

At the end of the day it comes down to this

What Goes Around| ©2014

what goes around

Comes Around | ©2014

comes around

So many behinds| ©2014

there are many behinds

So little time| ©2014

and so little time

Soul food | ©2014

what’s worth having

Serious BBQ | ©2014

is worth waiting for

Waiting for BBQ| ©2014

and good things

Orange you glad I'm here for seconds?| ©2014

come to those who wait

Waiting for BBQ2 | ©2014


I'm not sure if you're understanding me here| ©2014

most of the time

Lemonade Stand | ©2014

so have a sip of sunshine

Cap's Sssssignature | ©2014

and take a load off

Dog Tired | ©2014

close your eyes now

Dog Tired Too | ©2014

and rest your tired dogs

Dog Tired Two| ©2014

oh those tired dogs

Schnitzel | ©2014

because tomorrow

Don't get any funny ideas | ©2014

yes, tomorrow

Mind if I sniff? | ©2014

is smelling good already!

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Greenwood Car Show 2014

 Hey, Buddy | ©2014

Hey, Bud.

It’s almost here! Our neighborhood’s heralded Greenwood Car Show this Saturday from 8am — 4pm. Each year, as Hank cruises the mile-and-a-half hootenanny along Greenwood Avenue, he rejoices in the civic good this event supports across our community, and the great dog and people-watching to be had.

Shakka, Brah | ©2014

He’s also reminded of the following truisms:

1)   Everyone has a little inner redneck, no matter your shape or size, gender or genders, nation, color, or creed. The automobile brings out the redneck as sure as Hank exposes flaws in your dinner plans;

2)  You can fry just about anything and sell it to a crowd;

Elephant Ears | ©2014

3)  Folks who are serious about their cars are serious about their tiny dogs;

4)  No one can hold on to more than 70% of their BBQ/kettle korn/elephant ears/curly fries/ice cream and walk at the same time;

5)  Hank delights in all these things.

Happy Guy | ©2014

Hank. Delighting.

…Hope to see you up on the Ridge this Saturday! Hank & Cap are sure looking forward to meeting your BBQ.

Message for you | ©2014

I’ve got a message for you about the redneck crack. And these dogs are not tiny.


It is the month of June/The month of leaves and roses/When pleasant sights salute the eyes/And pleasant scents the noses.
Nathaniel Parker Willis

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Memphis Belles

Memphis Belles | ©2014


Each year around Memorial Day, the skies far above the House of Hank resonate with the deep hum of four engines and in short order a whole lot of history rumbles by. At which point the airspace immediately around the House fills with a lot of Whoopee!-ing and Oh-boy!-ing and other expressions of delight accompanied by jumping up and down and pointing. The B-17s are back!

Don't Mind Me | ©2014

I’m ready to go! (Don’t mind me.)

This year, the bomber overhead was “The Movie” Memphis Belle, an historic aircraft owned by The Liberty Foundation and used in the filming the movie of the same name. You may recall Hank’s favorite B-17, the Liberty Belle, which not long after its last Seattle visit experienced an in-flight fire, made a “remarkably controlled landing” in a field outside of Chicago, and just burned and burned and burned. Hank spent a lot of time during his recent visit talking to the engineer who was on that fateful flight. He says she will rise again someday!

But! But! B-17. 

Hank & Cap hopped in the truck and headed south to the airfield. They had to see this year’s Flying Fortress. Check it out:

Hank could watch this Vimeo clip over and over and over again. In fact, he does. It’s kind of a thing.

Here’s their adventure:

Memphis Belle visitors Seattle 2014 | ©2014

The best part of touring old airplanes…

Inspecting The Movie Memphis Belle Seattle 2014 | ©2014

…the little old men for Hank’s Dog, Horse, & Little Old Man Ranch©!

The Movie Memphis Belle Seattle 2014 | ©2014

They’re E V E R Y W H E R E !

The Movie Memphis Belle from front | ©2014

Pete Repete

Stuka | ©2014

We’re going in!

All Star B-17 | ©2014


Memphis Belle crew May 17, 1943 | ©2014

The original crew

B-17 Pilot| ©2014

Probably not the original pilot

Movie Memphis Belle visitors | ©2014

Definitely not the original crew

Mom | ©2014

(It was Mother’s Day, after all)

Propeller B-17 | ©2014

Waiting for the plane | ©2014

Waiting for the plane

In honor of the 70th anniversary of the D-Day landings at Normandy, June 6, 1944 and all those lost.

HJW, RSW, HGW Jr. (13 June 1944), DRK, & LOR – Blessings and thank you. Also “Piper Bill” Millin and Chester Nez. Aloha.

Piper Bill Millin Lord Lovat's personal piper D-Day June 6, 1944 (via BBC photo courtesy Imperial War Museum)

Chester Nez | Dean Hanson - AP


How lovely this world is, really: one simply has to look.
Joyce Carol Oates

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Saka Dawga

Saka Dawa 2014 | ©2014

Nice peonies, boys!

A very happy June to you from your peony-laden, rose-scented June bugs, Hank & Cap!  The Boys invite you to breathe deeply with them as they contemplate the auspicious month ahead in their garden:

peonies | ©2014

lady's mantle | ©2014

Saka Dawa 2014 II  | ©2014

wall fountain & akebia | ©2014

a bit of chaos | ©2014


buttons | ©2014

lilies & allium| ©2014

Cap enjoys the roses, too | ©2014

I get a little lost out here, sometimes

strawberry blossom | ©2014

life smells good | ©2014



Now is everything. Whatever you do in this very moment is everything: it’s the past, it’s the future, it’s now.
Chögyam Trungpa

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Captain Stanley Bladder Bald | ©2014

Hank couldn’t resist the opportunity to Viking himself and Cap today, wishing he could make it to the British Museum’s epic exhibition.

Poor Cap isn’t terribly tech savvy, so he has to live with the results of Hank’s marauding tendencies:

Captain Stanley Bladder Bald | ©2014

You can go Viking yourself too, here:  The British Museum.

Uff da!


We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise, we harden.

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Let Them Eat Cake

The Cake Rex Saga continues:

dogwood blossoms

Spring is just coming on so lovely this year, don’t you think?

Labradors looking for cake


It's just so lovely and fresh out...| ©2014

It’s just so fresh and bright…

Cake (?)

Cake (?)

Aren't the tulips just delightful this year?

Oh, my yes! Aren’t these tulips just delightful?

GAHHH!  Cake?!?


Yes, I don't think the voles did as much damage this year...why, just look at this Azalea!

Yes, they certainly are…I don’t think the voles did as much damage this year. Have you seen these azaleas?

Oh, for the love of all that is holy...CAKE!!!


lovely curled tulip

Oh, yes…they’re lovely. I just can’t take my eyes off these tulips!



white tulips and one dandelion

Of course, the dandelions are getting an early jump on spring, too…

That's it...I've officially LOST MY MIND!!


Sorry. We’re experiencing some technical difficulties at this time. Our iPhone has been mistaken for cake.


The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
Gloria Steinem

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Cake Rex

Cake for the King | ©2014

Almost a Cake Wreck.

Hank has been a bit unhinged since his last birthday.

“Unhinged” cannot possibly be a good omen for his dotage. You see, Hank has become obsessed, and we’re talking more than the usual Hank obsessed, more than the run-of-the-mill Hank unhinging du jour….this is more like OBSESSION, and this is indeed All Caps.



Hank’s even brought Cap into his affliction.

In the terrible presence of cake, Hank becomes what can only be described a maniac. Perhaps you’ve met this kind of maniac before. Perhaps you’ve met such a maniac in the person of The God of Cake:

“The God of Cake” © Allie Brosh (

Well, this is the kind of maniac we’re talking about: scratchy, clawing, wee arms; huge, gnashing teeth. Terrifying.

It all started innocuously enough. Hank loved his three-layer, peanut butter & yam, blueberry & pea-bejeweled crown cake so much. He’d been waiting, waiting, waiting all day long in the kitchen as the cake came into glorious being. He knew. This cake was his. All his. When the big moment finally arrived, the candles were lit, minions were singing, and it all got very nutters very quickly.

Where have you been all my life, Cake?

Where have you been all my life, Cake? Don’t mind my crazy eyes.

This may be when something actually snapped

[ This may be the point at which something in Hank snapped ]

[ Definitely by this point ]

[ certainly by this point ]

Or maybe it was here

[ yep]

Hank fell on that glowing, golden crown and ate that puppy in one gigantic, and frankly, disturbing ____?  We’re not even sure there’s a word in the English language for it. (It’s probably something you can only say in German.)

Cap jumps on the Crazy Train

Cap joins Hank on the Crazy Train

However you call it, that cake got gone.

Then Hank demanded another cake. Which he got. The next day. Because he turned 14 after all. Then he demanded another one. And another. Then Hank went beyond-the-beyond and declared that Every Day is Hank’s Birthday since every day is a brand-new milestone for a 14-year old Labrador, and every birthday must be celebrated with cake.

So it began and so it continues. Stay tuned for Cake Rex Part II: Let Him Eat Cake. Please don’t let this happen to someone you love.


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Hank’s Happy 14!

photo of puppy stealing other puppy's food

The more things change…

Amazing as it may seem, our Hank is 14 years old today.

Yes, it’s his birthday, and he’s been doing a little celebrating. The sun is shining—miracle of miracles—so our equally sunny spring chicken started his birthday off right:  with bacon from Pete’s Egg Nest, and half a breakfast burrito. Here are the goods:

bacon and breakfast burrito for Hank


Here’s Hank’s pre-bacon face:

photo of Hank looking for bacon

Whatcha’ got in that doggie bag, big spender?

Here’s his after-bacon face:

Hank the Labrador smiling photo

I’d smile wider, but I’ve got bacon in my teeth. All four of them.

Whew. So, what’s next on Hank’s birthday agenda? Taking a good stroll, collecting more biscuits, more belly rubs, a light lunch, more of the same, some good yelling, a few sniffs, and making plans for a big-time peanut butter & yam birthday cake on Saturday.


Hot Buy Pork Butt (!!! $uper $weet $Savings !!!)


Probably not, little piggy. But Happy Birthday anyway, you marvelous old fellow!

Happy Birthday card to Hank the Yellow Labrador

…the more they stay the same.


A little Madness in the Spring
Is wholesome even for the King
Emily Dickinson

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Cap, Uninterrupted

Yellow Labrador asleep with tongue sticking out

Just can’t get enough of these photos, apparently. Nope. Cap wishes you all a dreamy weekend!

Give the children love, more love and still more love – and the common sense will come by itself.
Astrid Lindgren

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Things Hank Didn’t Score at the Thrift Store

Photo of very large, ugly ski pants found in thrift store

Somewhere, a German is missing his pants.

"Bad Dog" skis

As if.

signed Ronald Reagan photo

The 80s called and they want their President back.
No, hang on – they just want the Camaro.

"Gold Digger" t-shirt

To pair with your Bad Idea Jeans, presumably.

light blue and white guitar with white pleather shoes to match

This little duo was harder to pass up. But he did.

Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Usually.
Voltaire (paraphrased)

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Special Delivery

Cap Loves the World | ©2014

XXOO from Cap

 ♥    ♥    

full belly warm sun

fresh grass spring dreams chase run roll

i’m hungry again

 ♥    ♥    ♥

XXOO from Hank


Happy Valentine’s Day from Hanku & Captain Valentine!

Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.
Henry David Thoreau

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House of Doom(ba)

And What, Exactly, Might This Mean?| ©2014

This cannot be good.

In what seems like a foolhardy move to Hank, and one of no particular significance to Cap, certain Persons with Thumbs just brought home a Roomba. Which is to say, a robot. That cleans. Brought it home. To stay. Yes. A very zoomy, very clever little robot has been given free reign over the House of Hank. Which is a pretty sick thing to do, really, and Hank would just like to know what was so wrong with regular terrifying vacuum 1.0? 

Cap just wonders. Generally.

Ruh Roh | ©2014

By the pricking of my thumbs…Zoom!

Good Lord. | ©2014

Something Wicked this Way Comes.  Zoom!


Oh, I like the Scottish Play—please keep reading. Zoom!


Get thee behind me, Satan.  Zooooom!


Will it never stop?  ZOOM!


I’m sure robots are very nice. I’d like to meet one someday.  ZZoom!


If I just close my eyes and count to ten, it will go away. Please go away.  Zoom! Zoom! Zoom!

Hank suspects this terrible Doomba harbors shivs, or citronella spray, or some other diabolical weaponry of world domination.  The Thumbs think he’s being melodramatic. Despite Hank’s qualms, this wee, zippy bugger does a great job of tidying up, even in Hank’s two-Labrador, many-carpeted castle of endless obstacles. The Thumbs have christened the little bot Dennis-There’s-Some-Lovely-Filth-Down-Here and hope he lives a good, long life of autonomous collecting here at Hank’s commune.

Hank will accept your condolences in the usual manner.

Just don’t leave them on the floor.

XXOO Hank | ©2014

I can’t even talk about it right now.

Whatever it is you’re seeking won’t come in the form you’re expecting.
—Haruki Murakami

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Alley Cap

DOOR | ©2014

Our friend Cap went for a chilly February adventure this morning, poking around Seattle’s back alleys and sniffing the light while Hank stayed nestled under blankets, dreaming of sandwiches and the coming of spring.

Happy Friday, everyone and hope some sun shines down on you, too!

Retaining Wall | ©2014

Lichen Paint | ©2014

Sedum Clouds Granite | ©2014

Retaining Wall | ©2014

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

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Amy | ©2014

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W.C. Fields

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The 13th Man

13th Man

…is the one who steals the 12th Man’s sandwich.

Hank is the 13th Man. He wears the pirate jersey of black and white. He is older and wiser than the 12th Man. He will be sailing forth early so consider this a Seattle-area warning for Super Bowl Sunday.

Gromit + Bones Pirate Flag

This is his play: As the 11 Men on the field stand around (listening to the sweet ka-chunk of gold dropping into bank accounts), and the famous 12th Man (YELLING!) vacates his stuffy prefrontal cortex for the more homey basal ganglia (YELLING!) and tucks in to critical beer-pork-beef-cheezy-chip supplies (YELLING!), Hank cuts to the right, feints a left, and goes straight for The Sandwich.

Go SeaHank! | ©2014

And SCOOOOORE! Instant replay cannot catch the speed with which both Hank and sandwich are gone. Quarterbacks and pythons the world over feel shame.

OK. Pythons the world over feel shame.

The 12th Man and his basal ganglia are none the wiser. (YELLING!) Mmm…nachos. Nachos good. (YELLING!) Mmm…beer. Beer good. (YELLING!)

Mmm…where sandwich?

Gromit + Bones Pirate Flag

13th Man

Gromit + Bones Pirate Flag


You can’t get a suit of armour and a rubber chicken just like that. You have to plan ahead.
—Michael Palin

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Liquid Sunshine

Sniff the Flowers | ©2014

sums up Seattle in winter, where the forecast swishes between Showers, or Rain, or Light Rain, or Drizzle—when it’s not Partly Cloudy or Partly Clear, that is—the difference between any of those states remaining mostly foggy to soggy observers.

Hank & Co. try to soak in Vitamin D when they can, when rare spurts of sunshine from above allow for luxuriant sun showers. Oh, joy!

Here’s what they do:

Berry Sunshine| ©2014
Look up at that strange bright sky (blink)

Stare at the Beauty of It All | ©2014
Look down at those strange bright plants (blink)

Even the Trees Feel Good | ©2014
See how happy the trees are (blink, blink)

Locate Favorite Sun Spot | ©2014
Locate favorite sun spot

Locate Favorite Sun Spot | ©2014 HouseofHank.meNote something terribly wrong at favorite sun spot

Locate Favorite Sun Spot | ©2014

That's Much Better | ©2014 HouseofHank.meReclaim sun spot. Soak in goodness.

The End.


To finish the moment, to find the journey’s end in every step of the road,
to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is also wise to have a full belly and a nice nap every day.
— Hank

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Cap, Interrupted II

Cap, Interrupted II| ©2014

Cap, Interrupted II| ©2014

Cozy Sunday Cap| ©2014

Hope your Sunday is just as cozy.

Posted in Critters, Photography, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Woo Woo, Worth a Sniff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments