It’s that time of year again—Hank’s birthday—and our wonderful Hank Williams, Sr. is now fifteen years old!
Yep. That’s something like 93 in big-dog years…and one more reason never to call him “Junior”.
So what did Hank do on his big, extra-special day? First, he got up extra-early (Herrroooo, 5 am!) for his meat brekkie and so as not to miss a single moment of the day ahead. Then he checked the news: reports of an 18-foot great white shark lurking off the coast of Washington. (Uncle Ed?) He then began his vigorous day of barking. For his birthday. All day long. As he imagined his birthday cake to-be, Hank merrily held a kitchen sit-in and songfest as apples blended, peanut butter plopped, and yams whirred around him. Kind of like a protest action, only not in protest.
Hank really likes his birthday cakes. Last year, you may recall that Hank (a.k.a. Cake Rex) got the crown.
This year, Hank got The Castle.
Yes. The Castle. That 1960’s Betty Crocker edifice of sticky, cake-baking inspiration. That otherworldly pinnacle of castle-y creation. That yearly object of Hank’s fevered birthday dreams.
Let’s take a closer look:
Golly, that’s neat.
Hank didn’t get that castle cake exactly, as he’s something of an over-decorator—he wants yams and peanut butter and apples and carrots and peas and blueberries and lots and lots of chicken—and Betty’s sensible Test-Helpers would probably say pillow mints and chocolate and such aren’t good for dogs.
So while it’s likely that Betty Crocker wouldn’t approve of what helpful Test-Helper Hank created, we think Test-Helper Joan would. Test-Helper Joan may have listened to Betty on baking—she turned out that oddly alluring blue and pink 1960’s masterpiece of a kid cake (with clouds! with moat!) after all—but that was then and this is now and Joan seems reasonable. Indeed, Hank still likes to ask, WWJD? in all cooking situations because, really—what would Joan do?
Why, Joan would build that chicken-bedecked peanut butter and yam Castle Cake if Hank wanted it so much, darn it. That’s what she’d do.
So that’s exactly what Test-Helper Hank did.
Here are photos of Hank’s 15th Birthday Castle Cake event as it unfolded. [Sensitive readers are warned that some graphic images follow, including some scenes of widespread carpet damage.]
Good work, Hank. Happy Birthday you old maniac!
Thank you, Betty.
We always said what we thought, even if it wasn’t complimentary.
After all the recipes were tested, we had a wonderful party.