Hank’s Happy 15

Betty Crocker Boys and Girls Cookbook

Oh my, Billy! Boys really are better at everything!

It’s that time of year again—our wonderful Hank Williams, Sr. is now fifteen years old!

That’s something like 93 in big-dog years and one more reason never to call him “Junior”.

So what did Hank do on his extra-special day? First, he got up extra-early (Herrroooo, 5 am!) for his brekkie and so as not to miss a single moment of the day ahead. Then he checked the news: reports of an 18-foot great white shark lurking off the coast of Washington. (Uncle Ed?) He then began his vigorous day of barking. All day long, as he imagined his birthday cake to-be, Hank merrily held a kitchen sit-in and songfest as apples blended, peanut butter plopped, and yams whirred around him. Kind of like a protest action, only not in protest.

Hank really likes his birthday cakes. Last year, you may recall that Hank (a.k.a. Cake Rex) got the crown.


This year, Hank got The Castle.

Betty Crocker Castle Cake


Yes. The Castle.  That 1960’s Betty Crocker edifice of sticky, cake-baking inspiration. That otherworldly pinnacle of castle-y creation. That yearly object of Hank’s fevered birthday dreams.

Let’s take a closer look:

Hank's Happy 15 | ©2015 HouseofHank.me - 37


Golly, that’s neat.

Hank didn’t get that castle cake exactly, as he’s an over-decorator—he wants yams and peanut butter and apples and carrots and peas and blueberries and lots and lots of chicken—and Betty’s sensible Test-Helpers would probably say pillow mints and chocolate and such aren’t good for dogs.

Talk to Us, Joan - Hank's Happy 15 | ©2015 HouseofHank.me

Pillow Mints and chocolate and such aren’t good for dogs.

So while it’s likely that Betty Crocker wouldn’t approve of what helpful Test-Helper Hank created, we think Test-Helper Joan would. Joan may have listened to Betty on baking—she turned out that oddly alluring blue and pink 1960’s masterpiece kid cake (with clouds! with moat!) after all—but that was then and this is now and Joan seems reasonable. Indeed, Hank still likes to ask, WWJD? in cooking situations because, really—what would Joan do?

Why, Joan would build that chicken-bedecked peanut butter and yam Castle Cake if Hank wanted it so much, darn it. That’s what she’d do. So that’s exactly what Test-Helper Hank did.

Here’s Hank’s 15th Birthday Castle Cake event as it unfolded. Sensitive readers are warned that some graphic images follow, including some scenes of widespread carpet damage:

Hank's Happy 15 | ©2015 HouseofHank.me - 04

King of the Castle at Last! Hank's Happy 15 | ©2015 HouseofHank.me

BNARFLLGRgg Hank's Happy 15 | ©2015 HouseofHank.me

GARRGHHH! Hank's Happy 15 | ©2015 HouseofHank.me

Good work, Hank.  Happy Birthday you old maniac!

Thank you, Betty.

Ah, Betty. | ©2015 HouseofHank.me

We always said what we thought, even if it wasn’t complimentary.

After all the recipes were tested, we had a wonderful party.


About Hank.

Raconteur | Dog About Town https://houseofhank.me/
This entry was posted in Critters, Photography, The Land of Was, Tom Hardy's Teeth, Worth a Sniff and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Hank’s Happy 15

  1. shosh says:

    Hank, you deserve the castle, the moat and more. I would say you deserve the world, but if I recall you ate that in your youth already?

    Happy birthday!

  2. Hank. says:

    Thanks, Shosh! You’re right, Hank has pretty much eaten his way through life though you wouldn’t know it what with his boyish good looks and figure (and a tiny recent bout with Giardia). Thanks for your fine wishes and enduring regard for this fellow!

  3. Hank. says:

    Well, tHank you!

    (Um, are you gonna eat that?)

  4. US says:

    Happy Birthday and more to come! What a cake!! This is Lent so I don’t want a piece of his cake.

  5. Hank. says:

    Well, that’s probably a good thing since the birthday piggy ET IT ALL HISSEF. Every last pea, even. Hmmm. Pretty cheeky.

  6. joncrispin says:

    Hank! Wow, 15! You are deserving of multiple exclamation points! And I think you are in the running for the luckiest labrador in the USA. The Olive sends her fond wishes. Cheers, Mate!

  7. Hank. says:

    Thanks, Jon & Olive! Hank thinks overindulgence may be the key to his longevity. It certainly has been the key to his happiness!

  8. Judy Patterson says:

    Absolutely the best doggie birthday ever. Dedicate the merit for loving the critter so.  How marvelous was that cake!!! I want one!   love ya j

  9. Hank. says:

    Jude, you’ll get a Betty Crocker Castle Cake when you turn 93. Promise!

    BTW, did Hank ever tell you about the time (4 am, to be precise) he ate an entire gingerbread Buddhist monastery? Yes. Then his girl had to turn around (at 8am, to be precise) and make another one. Yes. Because it was for a party. It was expected for a party WHICH HANK WAS NOT INVITED TO. So you can kind of see why he did it.

  10. Jo Woolf says:

    Happy Birthday, Hank! Your cake looks magnificent. Looks like you had a fantastic day! 🙂

  11. Hank. says:

    Brrrrrp….one of the best! Thanks, Jo!

Woof! Talk to Hank

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