Things Hank Didn’t Score at the Thrift Store

Photo of very large, ugly ski pants found in thrift store

Somewhere, a German is missing his pants.

"Bad Dog" skis

As if.

signed Ronald Reagan photo

The 80s called and they want their President back.
No, hang on – they just want the Camaro.

"Gold Digger" t-shirt

To pair with your Bad Idea Jeans, presumably.

light blue and white guitar with white pleather shoes to match

This little duo was harder to pass up. But he did.

______________________________
Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Usually.
Voltaire (paraphrased)

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Special Delivery

Cap Loves the World | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

XXOO from Cap

 ♥    ♥    

full belly warm sun

fresh grass spring dreams chase run roll

i’m hungry again

 ♥    ♥    ♥

XXOO from Hank

 

Happy Valentine’s Day from Hanku & Captain Valentine!

__________________________
Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.
Henry David Thoreau

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House of Doom(ba)

And What, Exactly, Might This Mean?| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

This cannot be good.

In what seems like a foolhardy move to Hank, and one of no particular significance to Cap, certain Persons with Thumbs just brought home a Roomba. Which is to say, a robot. That cleans. Brought it home. To stay. Yes. A very zoomy, very clever little robot has been given free reign over the House of Hank. Which is a pretty sick thing to do, really, and Hank would just like to know what was so wrong with regular terrifying vacuum 1.0? 

Cap just wonders. Generally.

Ruh Roh | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

By the pricking of my thumbs…Zoom!

Good Lord. | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Something Wicked this Way Comes.  Zoom!

IMG_5551

Oh, I like the Scottish Play—please keep reading. Zoom!

IMG_5564

Get thee behind me, Satan.  Zooooom!

IMG_5601

Will it never stop?  ZOOM!

IMG_5608

I’m sure robots are very nice. I’d like to meet one someday.  ZZoom!

IMG_5641

If I just close my eyes and count to ten, it will go away. Please go away.  Zoom! Zoom! Zoom!

Hank suspects this terrible Doomba harbors shivs, or citronella spray, or some other diabolical weaponry of world domination.  The Thumbs think he’s being melodramatic. Despite Hank’s qualms, this wee, zippy bugger does a great job of tidying up, even in Hank’s two-Labrador, many-carpeted castle of endless obstacles. The Thumbs have christened the little bot Dennis-There’s-Some-Lovely-Filth-Down-Here and hope he lives a good, long life of autonomous collecting here at Hank’s commune.

Hank will accept your condolences in the usual manner.

Just don’t leave them on the floor.

XXOO Hank | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

I can’t even talk about it right now.

____________________________
Whatever it is you’re seeking won’t come in the form you’re expecting.
—Haruki Murakami

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Alley Cap

DOOR | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Our friend Cap went for a chilly February adventure this morning, poking around Seattle’s back alleys and sniffing the light while Hank stayed nestled under blankets, dreaming of sandwiches and the coming of spring.

Happy Friday, everyone and hope some sun shines down on you, too!

Retaining Wall | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Lichen Paint | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Sedum Clouds Granite | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Retaining Wall | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

________________________________
Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.
—Confucius

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Wanted

Amy | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

_____________________________
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W.C. Fields

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The 13th Man

13th Man

…is the one who steals the 12th Man’s sandwich.

Hank is the 13th Man. He wears the pirate jersey of black and white. He is older and wiser than the 12th Man. He will be sailing forth early so consider this a Seattle-area warning for Super Bowl Sunday.

Gromit + Bones Pirate Flag

This is his play: As the 11 Men on the field stand around (listening to the sweet ka-chunk of gold dropping into bank accounts), and the famous 12th Man (YELLING!) vacates his stuffy prefrontal cortex for the more homey basal ganglia (YELLING!) and tucks in to critical beer-pork-beef-cheezy-chip supplies (YELLING!), Hank cuts to the right, feints a left, and goes straight for The Sandwich.

Go SeaHank! | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

And SCOOOOORE! Instant replay cannot catch the speed with which both Hank and sandwich are gone. Quarterbacks and pythons the world over feel shame.

OK. Pythons the world over feel shame.

The 12th Man and his basal ganglia are none the wiser. (YELLING!) Mmm…nachos. Nachos good. (YELLING!) Mmm…beer. Beer good. (YELLING!)

Mmm…where sandwich?

Gromit + Bones Pirate Flag

13th Man

Gromit + Bones Pirate Flag

(YELLING!!!)

______________________________________
You can’t get a suit of armour and a rubber chicken just like that. You have to plan ahead.
—Michael Palin

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Liquid Sunshine

Sniff the Flowers | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

sums up Seattle in winter, where the forecast swishes between Showers, or Rain, or Light Rain, or Drizzle—when it’s not Partly Cloudy or Partly Clear, that is—the difference between any of those states remaining mostly foggy to soggy observers.

Hank & Co. try to soak in Vitamin D when they can, when rare spurts of sunshine from above allow for luxuriant sun showers. Oh, joy!

Here’s what they do:

Berry Sunshine| ©2014 HouseofHank.me
Look up at that strange bright sky (blink)

Stare at the Beauty of It All | ©2014 HouseofHank.me
Look down at those strange bright plants (blink)

Even the Trees Feel Good | ©2014 HouseofHank.me
See how happy the trees are (blink, blink)

Locate Favorite Sun Spot | ©2014 HouseofHank.me
Locate favorite sun spot

Locate Favorite Sun Spot | ©2014 HouseofHank.meNote something terribly wrong at favorite sun spot

Locate Favorite Sun Spot | ©2014 HouseofHank.me
!!!???!!!

That's Much Better | ©2014 HouseofHank.meReclaim sun spot. Soak in goodness.

The End.

_____________________________

To finish the moment, to find the journey’s end in every step of the road,
to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is also wise to have a full belly and a nice nap every day.
— Hank

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Cap, Interrupted II

Cap, Interrupted II| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Cap, Interrupted II| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Cozy Sunday Cap| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Hope your Sunday is just as cozy.
____________________________________

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Happy New Year, Hounds!

Hank & Cap Christmas 2013 | ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Boy, oh boy! Hank hopes this New Year brings each of you abundant wonders, blessings, and adventures of all kinds! He thanks you from the bottom of his big heart for your kindnesses over the past year. Though he and Cap lost a little of their girlish figures from all that biscuit love, no one likes a skinny Santa after all.

Hank & Cap go to Swansons| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

Hank is hoping to publish more frequently this year and not get so caught up in projects that he neglects you, his trusty pack. He has around 150 draft posts just jingling around in the back room, waiting for their chance to fly and, by gum—this is going to be the year they shine.

Cap is going to work on not falling over so much.

Cap Christmas 2013 | ©2014 HouseofHank.me
Cap busy staying upright

Thanks again for your sandwiches, your warm thoughts, and your good humor in 2013. All the best to you and yours in 2014!

Bright Star| ©2014 HouseofHank.me

___________________________

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Autumn Ablaze

Maple Sky | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

We had a week or two of autumn here in the Pacific Northwest—the rains and wind started late, and we saw a bit of fall color before it blew apart and turned to mush. We’re no New England (New England was a friend of mine, and you sir are no New England) but it was lovely nevertheless.

Since the November rains blew in, Hank & Co. have been down the proverbial rabbit-hole. What started out as a project to scan and share family photos has turned into an “Oh? I have cereal and ketchup in my hair? Again?” sort of time-altered otherworld. Fortunately, Hank’s been helping The Thumbs keep things light by scanning his jowls on a regular basis, so there’s that.

Also: Halloween. Cap went trick-or-treating dressed as the neighbor cat:

Cap as Dexter | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Hank went trick-or-treating dressed as Cap:

Hank as Cap | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

…great fun was had by all.

Speaking of tricks, Hank’s been finding fascinating names in the dusty, dusty recesses of the family atticsHepzibah, Mehitabel, Keziah, Hester, Philena, and (yahoo!) one or two called Dorcas. “Dorcas” is always a favorite. To this Hank needs to add, Freedom. Or “Freedy” as she was known on the street. Back in the day. These are the names of the girlsthe dudes include Experience, Jabez, Libbeus, Silas, any number of Ezras, and more than a few Ichabods and Ebenezers. Whew.

Hank’s glad he’s not living with any Prudences, Temperances, or Modestys whatever the gender, and he’s extra thankful to be a Labrador. No real zealots of any stripe, just some food thieves, gastronomes and really good swimmers. This is how he sees it:

The Thumbs’ Family

Family Tree EEEEEEE | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Hank’s Family

Baby Beer at Chuck's | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Right on, Hank! You and Chuck know da kine. (Now just get that baby out of the beer and we’ll pull up a chair.)

Friends, big hugs to you all and know that despite his busyness, Hank is thankful and grateful for you every day. Keep well and safe during the holidays and he’ll be sharing some lovely jowl scans soon. Gobble Gobble!

________________________________

But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine.
Thomas Jefferson

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Signs of the Times

Happy Halloween!

Remember to be careful of upside-down zombies today.

Upside Down Zombie | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

And try not to stand too close to Hank.

Hank's Sign of the Times | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Don’t go in to any spooky barns.

Spooky Barn | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

And pay attention to signs and wonders…

Signs & Wonders | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Just remember to be nice to all the Tricker-Treaters. Even if their costumes are a little off.

I'm just going as a fence this year | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

I just couldn’t think of a good costume, so I’m a fence this year.

________________________

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Please Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight (or whatever): Cairn Fever IV

Cairn Fever IV| ©2013 HouseofHank.me

The mighty Haggis Twins are again visiting Yank Uncle Hank!

Winifred & Conan Haggis are back at the Ranch and looking for sport. They got some rather close shaves recently, and as a result they look a little silly. So barkity, barkity, bark, bark, bark goes their fight song as they tumble and roar across Phinney Ridge and beyond.

To cope, Cap just tries to blend in with his environment…

Cap Blends In | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

…which only works to a point, since Winifred is also a mistress of disguise:

Barnacle or Bairn? | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Meanwhile, Hank enjoys the perks of being the old man about the house, peacefully enjoying a bourbon barrel-aged stout on his new deck…

Porter? | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

…and dreaming about all the lovely tomatoes he stole off the vines this summer…

I Say Tomatoes | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

…and singing the old fishing songs when he feels like it…

Ode to Joy | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

…while the chaos goes off somewhere over yonder. Hank’s got his hearing aids turned off.  Some things just do get better with age.

Conan at Bay | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Yes.

After a long day, Winnie & Conan dream of leaf piles and long walks, squirrel stew and long fireside snoozes. They plan to get an early start on the mayhem. Children will be walking to school! Leaves will be falling! Nuts will be collected! The Haggis Twins will be there! Sweet dreams, wee Haggi.

Walkies | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

____________________________

If you can’t be seven feet tall, be seven feet smart.
Lois McMaster Bujold

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Hank’s Autumn in Purples and Pumpkin

Leaf on Fire | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Aster | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Pumpkin Skin | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Gold & Grit | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Coleus | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

September Aster | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Ablaze | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Winter Kale | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Beautyberry| ©2013 HouseofHank.me

___________________________
To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.
Phyllis Theroux

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Cap, Interrupted

Cap, Asleep | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Cap, Interrupted | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

___________________________________________
Set wide the window. Let me drink the day.
Edith Wharton

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Hanku No. 5

Hanku No. 5 | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

bellybutton eau

hank’s summer freshness distilled

inevitable

____________________________

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Late August Beach

Late August Beach Debris | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Shell of Summer | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Droplets | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

The Boys | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

_________________________________
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
J.R.R. Tolkien

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Ice Cream, You Bark

Ice Cream You Bark | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

One of Hank’s luckiest friends…

Ice Cream You Bark 2 | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Ice Cream You Bark 3 | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

______________________________

Whatever you are doing, take the attitude of wanting it directly or indirectly to benefit others. Take the attitude of wanting it to increase your experience of kinship with your fellow beings.
Pema Chödrön

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Hank’s Summer

For Hank, summer days run something like this: wake, yell, eat, burp, pee, poo, scratch, sniff, yell, sniff, yell, swim, swim, shake, sniff, roll, roll, sniff, swim, swim, shake, yell, roll, roll, scratch, pee, yell, eat, yell, pee, yell, yell, sleep. Which brings us to the evening part of our program, whereupon Hank vigorously reenacts the day in his dreams, preparing to begin afresh the following morning.

Here’s what it looks like:

Find the biggest stick. Check. | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Find improbably-sized stick and retrieve. Check.

It is not too big. It is not. | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Roll around. Check. Insist that stick is not too large to play with. It is not. Prepare to yell.

There it is | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Ah, there it is. Nice yelling, Hank. Check.

Peach Pie for Hank| ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Lapse into reverie for just a moment; think about that marvelous peach pie at home.

Good dog, Hank | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Yes, and that stick is still too big, Hank.

What. | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Yell more. Swim more. Roll around a whole bunch. Get innocent passersby wet and sandy. Check, check, checkity-check, check.

What? | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Clean up a bit, look suave. Wonder why Cap’s pulling a goofy face. Wonder why Cap’s pulling the “I smell bacon” face, in particular. Remember that Cap’s a little goofy. Big check.

Hank's Pie Face | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Pull your own face. Head home for pie. Good dog, Hank!
_______________________________

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
Annie Dillard

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Party Animals

Hmmph | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Hank goes to a dinner party and meets new friends, including the escargot:

Slow Down! | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

__________________________________
Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you.
You must travel it by yourself.
It is not far. It is within reach.
Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know.
Perhaps it is everywhere—on water and land.
Walt Whitman

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Green, Green is Hank’s House

I try to be good| ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Truly | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Under it | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

I try to be good | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Don't you dare climb that tree | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

Or under it | ©2013 HouseofHank.me

But the tree is a sister to me | ©2013 HouseofHank.me_______________________________

“Green, Green is My Sister’s House” poem by Mary Oliver from her book, A Thousand Mornings (The Penguin Press, 2012).

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