Hank has a complicated relationship with delivery folks. On one hand, they scare the crackers out of him. On the other, given it’s usually the U.S. Postal Service, they just might bring something delightfully edible wrapped in tattered packaging and chuck it on the porch or under the shrubbery or whatnot. Ah, quel domage pour vous, says Hank, et bon appétit pour moi.
Now, the UPS guy is a whole different story. Hank XXOO loves the UPS Guy. It’s been his experience that even if the UPS Guy isn’t delivering Something So Wonderful it sends Hank into early cardiac arrest, UPS Guys are full of biscuit love: “What Can Brown Do for You Today?” Plenty, fella. Hand `em over. You can almost see the hearts shooting from Hank’s head when he hears that Brown truck approaching.
FedEx, on the other hand, seems to feel that it’s got a cartoon dog on the side of the trucks, so good enough. Eh. (Watch where you step, FedEx. Where’s that UPS guy?)
What Hank does love is Fan Mail and especially FanART. These are some of his current favorites…check back for new additions!
Dearest Friends: Hank wishes to let you know that should you be so inclined to send him an early Valentine’s/Christmas/Losar/Hanukkah/Earth Day/General I Love You present (after universal enlightenment & world peace, of course), he kindly requests his favorite, favorite, most hoped-for heart’s desire:
A Pashley Princess Sovereign.
(In case you’re wondering, this is the appropriate place to insert an animated GIF with flowers and birds and hearts fluttering all around. Nowhere else.)
Hank knows what you’re thinking: Hank, you don’t ride a bicycle. Right. But he does love running next to his Very Favorite Person who can, in fact, ride a bicycle. And this particular bicycle with its wicker baskets and such goes so well with his lovely golden hair it makes him slightly knock-kneed. Plus, that basket can carry vast quantities of kibble home to Hank & Friends.
He requests Buckingham Black, please, with a 17.5 inch frame.
…And a good day to you, Guv’nor!